KnittyMagic How-Tos: Outside
My porch was sure looking shabby. When I bought my house and my things, I misunderstood how "outdoor furniture" worked. I figured you stuck it outside and used it when you felt like it. I never even considered bringing it in over the winter or covering it up in the rain, or taking down the umbrella. Why? It was *OUTDOOR* furniture.
Within a few weeks, the umbrella snapped, the cushions on the chairs molded, and it wasn't even winter yet. After a couple of Midwestern winters, the name of the game became "throw out everything that didn't survive the winter".
Outdoor furniture, for something you leave to the elements, is rather damned expensive. This quickly became cost prohibitive, so I gave up on the "outside" thing. I couldn't just throw some food on the grill and sit down at the table like Martha Stewart; I had to set up the table, clean it, find a chair that wasn't wet, or dry one off, round up the umbrella---eff that. We just hung out in our handily temperature-controlled house.
Then I had a kid. Kids, they like to play outside. Which translates to "time I don't have to amuse the kid". Unfortunately, my porch was not terribly pleasant. The grill was showing its age from living uncovered all winter. The chairs were a disaster. We had one sturdy chair (but the resin was disintegrating so it left green marks on anyone sitting in it), 2 adorable motel chairs (with giant rust patches), and 1 folding chair (that had seen better days), and 1 table with no umbrella.
When I fell through the folding chair (that was an adventure) I decided to build a bench instead of chairs. Even the cheap plastic chairs cost around $15-20, multiply that and it's a fair investment (for something that typically lasts only one summer). Using the scraps left over from the cedar dining table I made for my mom, I built a nice little bench for two people. Cost: one box of screws (didn't have the right length). If not using wood I already had, the cost would be about $25.
The green resin chair was still sturdy, it was just---getting green everywhere. So I decided to try this new spray paint by Rust Oleum that's formulated for plastics. It's pretty hard to use effectively, and you'd probably need two cans to properly cover a chair, but we managed to make it so the chair doesn't get green everywhere--so that's surely a bonus, right? Note to self; do not choose red paint for a green chair. Cost: $5
I was not yet done with my adventures in spray paint. I figured those motel chairs HAD to be salvageable. My mother tells me that the old ones at actual, y'know, *motels* sometimes had layers upon layers of paint. I purchased a couple of wire brushes to brush off some of the rust, used coarse sandpaper to rough up the surface, and painted 2 chairs and 1 little table with candy pink paint! If you get up close to them, you'll see I wouldn't have made a very good graffiti artist, but from the street, they look great ;-) Cost: $20 for spray paint and wire brushes.
Ah, that grill wasn't looking so good. But heck, paint had worked miracles on those motel chairs, hadn't it? I rummaged around in the garage and found a can of Rust Oleum classic black flat paint. It was leftover from painting the mailbox, which we don't exactly take in every winter, and it still looks great after 6 years. The actual grill itself wasn't looking bad, because the paint for that is heat-resistant (read: higher quality) than the paint on the cabinet that holds it. Well, now they match, because I painted the cabinet (I didn't even need to rough that up, just wipe it off) with my flat black Rust Oleum, and while it won't fool anyone into thinking we have a brand new grill, it looks a hell of a lot better than it did. Cost: $0, because I had the paint, $4 if I had to buy it.
When there's a little paint left in the can KnittyMagic dictates we find something else to paint, since we're already in painting mode. That outdoor dining table had long outlived its umbrella and chairs. The glass wasn't cracked, the legs were faded but not rusted, and it was just the right size. So I painted the metal frame. Cost: $0 because I had the paint.
The one expensive part of the porch redo was, alas, a new umbrella. Why are those things so damn expensive? They give away regular umbrellas for free! I found a mid-quality green umbrella at Target for $70, and that was actually a really good price. Don't worry, I'm taking this one down each time I use it! Cost $75 with tax.
Then for a bit of "window dressing", so to speak, I found a vinyl tablecloth (vintage orange!) and cut a hole in the middle for the umbrella hole. That was free for me (scavenged from Grandpa's) but they are easily found for $5 or less. The ones with the hole already in them are sometimes twice as much or more, but cutting a hole isn't exactly tough, and vinyl doesn't fray. Cost $0-5 depending on your scavenging opportunities.
The final piece will be a weighted base for the umbrella to sit in. These are not terribly pricey, but I happen to have some materials lying around that will make a decent, functional base.
1. Wash an empty plastic detergent bottle. Cut off the top half.
2. Mix up a batch of cement from one of those "stepping stone" kits. (I don't need a stepping stone. I do need an umbrella base).
3. Pour the cement into the bottle. *BEFORE IT DRIES* do step 4:
4. Find a piece of PVC pipe that will accommodate the umbrella's pole, and will stick up at least an inch from the top of the cement. Cover the end with duct tape to keep it from filling the tube, then submerge the tube in the center of the cement in the bottle.
5. Allow to set. Place under table. This is weatherproof and inexpensive!
Cost: $0 if you have the stuff, about $10 for a stepping stone kit and a piece of PVC if you don't.
Total cost of porch fix-up for me: $108
Total cost of porch fix-up if I had to buy everything: $144 Still not bad!!!
And just for giggles; I looked at some of the prices for new things, had I decided to purchase rather than create.
New Martha Stewart table + 4 chairs: ~$250 on sale
New "motel chair" set (1 table & 2 chairs) ~$89 on sale
New "cheap" umbrella table + 4 chairs ~$130 on sale
New lower-end gas grill ~$200
Nope, I didn't do too bad at all!
Within a few weeks, the umbrella snapped, the cushions on the chairs molded, and it wasn't even winter yet. After a couple of Midwestern winters, the name of the game became "throw out everything that didn't survive the winter".
Outdoor furniture, for something you leave to the elements, is rather damned expensive. This quickly became cost prohibitive, so I gave up on the "outside" thing. I couldn't just throw some food on the grill and sit down at the table like Martha Stewart; I had to set up the table, clean it, find a chair that wasn't wet, or dry one off, round up the umbrella---eff that. We just hung out in our handily temperature-controlled house.
Then I had a kid. Kids, they like to play outside. Which translates to "time I don't have to amuse the kid". Unfortunately, my porch was not terribly pleasant. The grill was showing its age from living uncovered all winter. The chairs were a disaster. We had one sturdy chair (but the resin was disintegrating so it left green marks on anyone sitting in it), 2 adorable motel chairs (with giant rust patches), and 1 folding chair (that had seen better days), and 1 table with no umbrella.
When I fell through the folding chair (that was an adventure) I decided to build a bench instead of chairs. Even the cheap plastic chairs cost around $15-20, multiply that and it's a fair investment (for something that typically lasts only one summer). Using the scraps left over from the cedar dining table I made for my mom, I built a nice little bench for two people. Cost: one box of screws (didn't have the right length). If not using wood I already had, the cost would be about $25.
The green resin chair was still sturdy, it was just---getting green everywhere. So I decided to try this new spray paint by Rust Oleum that's formulated for plastics. It's pretty hard to use effectively, and you'd probably need two cans to properly cover a chair, but we managed to make it so the chair doesn't get green everywhere--so that's surely a bonus, right? Note to self; do not choose red paint for a green chair. Cost: $5
I was not yet done with my adventures in spray paint. I figured those motel chairs HAD to be salvageable. My mother tells me that the old ones at actual, y'know, *motels* sometimes had layers upon layers of paint. I purchased a couple of wire brushes to brush off some of the rust, used coarse sandpaper to rough up the surface, and painted 2 chairs and 1 little table with candy pink paint! If you get up close to them, you'll see I wouldn't have made a very good graffiti artist, but from the street, they look great ;-) Cost: $20 for spray paint and wire brushes.
Ah, that grill wasn't looking so good. But heck, paint had worked miracles on those motel chairs, hadn't it? I rummaged around in the garage and found a can of Rust Oleum classic black flat paint. It was leftover from painting the mailbox, which we don't exactly take in every winter, and it still looks great after 6 years. The actual grill itself wasn't looking bad, because the paint for that is heat-resistant (read: higher quality) than the paint on the cabinet that holds it. Well, now they match, because I painted the cabinet (I didn't even need to rough that up, just wipe it off) with my flat black Rust Oleum, and while it won't fool anyone into thinking we have a brand new grill, it looks a hell of a lot better than it did. Cost: $0, because I had the paint, $4 if I had to buy it.
When there's a little paint left in the can KnittyMagic dictates we find something else to paint, since we're already in painting mode. That outdoor dining table had long outlived its umbrella and chairs. The glass wasn't cracked, the legs were faded but not rusted, and it was just the right size. So I painted the metal frame. Cost: $0 because I had the paint.
The one expensive part of the porch redo was, alas, a new umbrella. Why are those things so damn expensive? They give away regular umbrellas for free! I found a mid-quality green umbrella at Target for $70, and that was actually a really good price. Don't worry, I'm taking this one down each time I use it! Cost $75 with tax.
Then for a bit of "window dressing", so to speak, I found a vinyl tablecloth (vintage orange!) and cut a hole in the middle for the umbrella hole. That was free for me (scavenged from Grandpa's) but they are easily found for $5 or less. The ones with the hole already in them are sometimes twice as much or more, but cutting a hole isn't exactly tough, and vinyl doesn't fray. Cost $0-5 depending on your scavenging opportunities.
The final piece will be a weighted base for the umbrella to sit in. These are not terribly pricey, but I happen to have some materials lying around that will make a decent, functional base.
1. Wash an empty plastic detergent bottle. Cut off the top half.
2. Mix up a batch of cement from one of those "stepping stone" kits. (I don't need a stepping stone. I do need an umbrella base).
3. Pour the cement into the bottle. *BEFORE IT DRIES* do step 4:
4. Find a piece of PVC pipe that will accommodate the umbrella's pole, and will stick up at least an inch from the top of the cement. Cover the end with duct tape to keep it from filling the tube, then submerge the tube in the center of the cement in the bottle.
5. Allow to set. Place under table. This is weatherproof and inexpensive!
Cost: $0 if you have the stuff, about $10 for a stepping stone kit and a piece of PVC if you don't.
Total cost of porch fix-up for me: $108
Total cost of porch fix-up if I had to buy everything: $144 Still not bad!!!
And just for giggles; I looked at some of the prices for new things, had I decided to purchase rather than create.
New Martha Stewart table + 4 chairs: ~$250 on sale
New "motel chair" set (1 table & 2 chairs) ~$89 on sale
New "cheap" umbrella table + 4 chairs ~$130 on sale
New lower-end gas grill ~$200
Nope, I didn't do too bad at all!
posted by knittykat @ 9:23 AM
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