On Consumerism and the Holidays

It's the holidays. Starry-eyed children are making out their wish lists and grownups and kids alike are dreaming of the perfect tree, the perfect meal, and the perfect Christmas all around. And people are taking second jobs, working extra hours, and running up their credit cards to fund this fantasy.

I see something wrong with it.

Sure, every kid remembers that one great present that arrived at just the right time after they had wished for it and longed for it and dreamed about it. I'm not trying to take that away. Well thought-out gifts are a joy to receive--they show us just how much that giver cares and how much they really know about us.

But what did the ornaments look like on your tree last year? I can tell you what mine looked like....because they are the very same ornaments that have gone up on my tree every single year previous. The little bear that I got at my second-grade best friend's birthday party. The pink and silver star my husband and I bought for our 'first tree' when we were only going out for 6 months at the time. The cookie-dough interpretation of my fox terrier, Daisy. The Lenox glass ornament my MIL and FIL gave us when we got engaged. And of course there is the fluffy angel my father and I made at the elementary school craft fair. And the beaded lizard my best friend made me. These ornaments mark important events in my life, and seeing them up on my tree is like a visual reminder of all of the wild and wonderful things I've experienced. It's a time line...on a tree.

Sure, those trees in the Target look great with the perfectly coordinated white lights and 'snowfall' series ornaments and blue ribbons. But are there really people out there who just buy a 'coordinated' looking tree? And if they do, do they really buy a new one every year? Each year the Christmas section seems to grow---what are all these people buying it for? If you move into a new house and need to put up a first tree, I understand. But how many 'first trees' can be sold every year? I must assume some people are replacing last year's ornaments with this year's more trendy iteration.

What about the table? Certainly that spread in Martha Stewart looks inviting--the snowy white cloth and the blazing red goblets. The shiny gold silver and the delicate Lenox china. I use my grandma's treasured china every year...and every year I look forward to seeing it again. I know it's Christmas when that china makes its yearly appearance on my table. Are there really people out there who go out and buy a whole new table 'wardrobe' for the holidays? And what do they do with last year's wardrobe? Throw it out? Pack it in a box labelled "2003 Christmas table setting"?

I always wonder when I see people with a big cart full of new holiday decorations--new Christmas towels for the powder room, a Christmas door mat, Christmas window clingies, wooden welcome signs to hang on the door. Yes, I do have most of these things. Exactly ONE of each of these things. My cousin bought me the wooden door hanger sign when I bought my first house. Every year when I put it up on the door I smile when I remember her giving it to me and telling me it just wasn't a house without a wooden welcome sign shaped like Rudolph.

Every year I relish getting out all the things that I have had just enough time to temporarily forget. It recalls that old excitement as a child. 2 weeks before Christmas out came the nutcracker passed down through the generations, out came the good china, out came the Christmas tablecloth and the Christmas hand towels. Out came the stocking my mom embroidered for me when I was a baby. Every year we greeted these decorations like old friends. It's part of what makes every Christmas old AND new at the same time. Sure we're all a little older, but darn it, we're still drinking out of the same punch bowl, and that offers a nice sort of security. No matter what else happens, that nutcracker ain't goin' nowhere. Oh, and THAT ornament. I totally forgot about that one! That one has been on 7 generations of trees.

So what's wrong with earning a few extra bucks for the holidays? Because you shouldn't have to. The holidays really don't require much more money than any other day, done properly. Would your children rather you worked a few extra hours to buy new Christmas decorations? Or would they prefer you came home early and sat on the floor with them to string popcorn and wach Rudolph? Would they rather the ornaments were perfectly coordinated? Or would they rather spend an afternoon cutting out cookie dough ornaments and painting them? Would they give up all those nice cozy evenings drinking hot apple cider in front of the fire for a few more shiny boxes? They might not know it yet, but they wouldn't. What did you get for Christmas when you were 6? 8? 10? 13? Now what movie or record did your family put on when they decorated the tree? What special dish did Aunt Florence always bring on Christmas (that she never made any other time of the year)?

It saddens me to see people working away and tromping through the mall trying to create synthetic memories that are 'perfect', when the real memories are happening all around them and they are ignoring them. I've watched a parent yell at a child for refusing to sit on Santa's lap (she was afraid, and she was about 2). The child was crying, and the parent was growling "Now what are we going to do about the Christmas card??" I've seen children that should be home in their jammies with sugar plums dancing in their heads--being hauled around the Wal-Mart at 10:30 p.m. 2 days before Christmas, while the parents gripe about the expense of presents. I've seen people blow a hundred dollars just on gift wrapping....because they wanted it to all match underneath the tree. Do these things really make these people happy? I suspect they do not. But I also suspect they buy more, better, bigger next year in an attempt to make THAT Christmas perfect.

I'm a crafter, and I make the majority of my Christmas presents. I usually am working on something Christmas Day...for next Christmas! Some people say I'm compulsive or that they hate that I'm so organized. But it makes sense to me. I never have to take a second job during the holidays--the time I want most to be with those I love. I can afford a few extra dollars for craft materials here and there (even more during after Christmas sales) throughout the year. If I make one or two presents a month, the budget never gets out of control. Because I start so early, I can put my time and energy and love into the gifts I give, rather than money.

And that's why I want to scream every time I go into a store during the holiday season, and see all of these people desperately seeking The Perfect Christmas. I want to scream "You have NO idea what the Perfect Christmas is!!! It's not coordinated lights and the latest Bratz doll. It's not new fire-engine red wine goblets and gold-plated silverware! It's not perfectly elegant Christmas theme hand towels for the bathroom. Go HOME, already, THAT is where the Perfect Christmas is! Your children in their jammies and last year's clumsily-painted dough ornaments are the Perfect Christmas! Grandma's applesauce cake and popcorn garlands and 3rd generation china are the Perfect Christmas! You're so damn busy in the store that you are MISSING OUT ON the Perfect Christmas!"

The perfect Christmas has at least one mishap--like the pipe that burst under my cousin's sink on Christmas morning or the time the dog got in the egg nog and got drunk. The perfect Christmas has at least one joke present and brownies that stick in the pan. The perfect Christmas has wrapping paper and ribbon all over the house and the dog exuberantly crunching on a pine cone. The perfect Christmas has one guest that's always late to dinner. The perfect Christmas has at least one unusual thing that people remember for years to come, a story to be retold around countless future Christmas trees of fading cookie-dough ornaments and popcorn garlands, when no one remembers what color the tablecloth was or how well the hand towels coordinated with the door mat.

Merry Christmas, and God Bless.