I've been trying really hard to budget. Really hard. And I've discovered some of my problems. But overall it's been very stressful for me. I have come to realize that maybe, although my husband's income sounds fantastic, it is simply NOT enough to support our lifestyle the way it is.
It seems like it should be. Our mortgage is the proper 30% of our income (actually a bit less). We have no car payments. My husband's insurance premium is exorbitant, but my mom still pays for mine, so that should even out. We have a cell phone for a home phone that costs less than $10 a month, and we each have a personal cell phone that costs about $20 per month. We only have ultra-basic cable--$10. Our internet isn't pricy; $25. We have "good" health insurance (whatever that is) and while we do pay some copays and deductibles and prescriptions, overall it's not THAT much.
Gas prices are still high, but I fill my car up every two weeks and Mr. fills his up every week, sometimes a little less. Our grocery bills went down DRASTICALLY when Miss Baby was potty trained (thank you, Goddess!) and we've moved to a quasi-vegetarian diet that has cut our remaining grocery bill nearly in half. We use generic shampoo, bath gel, toilet paper, and paper towels. I buy almost all generic medicines, vitamins, foods, etc. I buy wine on RARE occassion. I buy makeup once a year, and spend a grand total of $30 on it (yep, high maintenance me).
Almost all Maggie's clothes come from gifts. Almost all her toys are gifts. We Netflix the vast, vast majority of her movies (and ours too). We have a YMCA membership but that's only $70 for all THREE of us. We don't get the newspaper (I read it at work) and we buy books strictly at the used bookstore (and then usually with a credit).
And yet the money doesn't seem to stretch. There's always some big stupid bill that comes at a time when I'm like "Okay, we have $40 extra dollars, as long as we eat in and don't buy stuff, we're okay".
I'm sick of these BIG expenses being shit like horrendously expensive car insurance or medical bills or un-fun things like that. I keep having to dip into my savings account when I'd rather not. When I'd rather be saving that money to take Maggie to Disney World or to put a big down payment on our next car. (Maxxine is worrying me, I thought she had a few more years but something is telling me to ready myself for a modest car payment).
So I decided to buy a new couch. A red leather couch that matches my red leather chair. I had the money in my savings account--I didn't have to put it on credit or anything. And yet I feel insanely guilty. I feel guilty in part because I just told Mr. Knitty that morning that we could not afford to go to Dallas for three days to get John Carpenter's autograph. I feel guilty in part because my mother says "You've had more new couches than I've had in my entire life!". I feel guilty because my family usually keeps ugly, outdated, worn furniture until the day it breaks through and you sit on the floor, and even then they act surprised and sad because it didn't last another 10 years. I feel guilty because I feel that furniture is supposed to be enjoyed, if I think "ugh this camelback couch with ugly rolled arms" every morning, it's not worth it, especially if I have the money.
I just needed some fun because I'm sick of acting like we're poor in some vain attempt to live frugally. It's not like we can't buy groceries. I'm sick of passing up a $8 brick of delicious cheese because I feel like I should save the money for generic toilet paper. I'm sick of calculating the cents on tomatoes and making myself feel like I can't afford an avocado when at least 15% of our income is being "saved" for something. Saving should not make you feel like you can't afford to feed your family.
So I bought a couch. Tell me to stop feeling guilty.
